Civilization (n): An advanced state of human society, in which high levels of culture, science, industry, and government have been achieved.
Snot-Noses and Potatoes….
Y’know, I’m getting old.
I went to breakfast this morning at my favorite morning-place here in the Portland area (a restaurant known for a good breakfast, day or night – they make the best Eggs Bennie in town, and I’m rather fond of just being ‘me’ on the weekends – but this morning was far different than normal.
I had the opportunity to watch a rather motley looking tribe consisting of grandparents, plus Mom, Dad, and three offspring gradually demolish the area around a six-person table. Mom thought it was great fun to feed the two-year-old hashbrowns, and watch him throw them on the floor.
They didn’t limit their festivities to the floor, either. One of them had a cold, and was wiping his snotty nose on his hands, then rubbing them on anything handy (chairs; table; carpet). His other sibling has taken the sugar-packets and was busy making some sort of sand-sculpture on the tabletop – all while the adults just watched.
The resulting mess was nothing less than frightful.
Now, I know just about everyone who works there. I’m virtually one of the crew, which is part of the ambiance. I’m often a part of the staff’s conversations, so when one of the women who work there walked in after Motley Crew finished their scorched-earth policy to conclusion and said “f**k!” under her breath, I shook my head and said, “I wonder how that tribe lives at home.” She turned around and said, “Will, this happens more and more now. The owner won’t say anything to people like this, no matter how much we complain.”
Potatoes on the floor. A table looking like a glazed-donut in places, thanks to Mr. Snot-Nose. Sugar on the table; none in the container; packets torn open everywhere. She simple cleaned the table, brought out the sanitizer for the snot-spots, picked up the potatoes off the floor, ran the carpet sweeper, and started setting the table again for the next group. I was almost finished with breakfast by the time she was done. She was not happy.
So, just when did people decide that this was proper behavior?
Recently, one of our local TV stations did a story about a company here in Portland which actually goes to people’s homes and teaches them how to conduct a sit-down dinner for the family. They make money doing this – teaching people basic manners.
The news-crew interviewed the teenage daughter of the family which was featured – she said that dinner was always a mess – her mother was on her cell-phone non-stop; the cat was allowed in the same room, so it often ate her dinner; her brothers were invariably in a fight, and her Dad sometimes just got up and left rather than deal with it.
Now, I don’t know about you – but I’ve got a simple solution, and it doesn’t involve spending $300/session to have someone teach ‘manners’.
It involves looking around at things, and making a simple decision: How important is civilization?
Yes. That’s right. Civilization.
I’m often called a snob. That’s fine. I’ll cop to that, and more, if it means that setting standards which prohibit using a cell-phone at dinner or throwing food on the floor.
This morning’s events made me realize why “American culture” is an oxymoron. Small wonder why other countries don’t respect us, when parents allow their children to behave in this manner, and the parents are no better themselves.
Slurp….
In fact, bad behavior is not only acceptable, it’s sometimes even legislated. Recently, one of my friends wrote a blog about ‘lactivism’ – yes, you read that right – it’s the impassioned belief of some that nursing women should be allowed to ‘whip one out’ and feed the chitlun right there in front of you.
“Don’t show me your t_ _ s!”, exclaimed Bill Maher a few months ago, when a manager at an Applebee’s in Virginia asked a woman to cover herself.
The whole chain suffered
massively after that request – ‘lactivists’ from all over the country, fueled no doubt by lattes and cheap Internet service, boycotted and demonstrated in front of most Applebee’s across the country.
Turns out that his request (issued at the request of a restaurant patron) was illegal.
Yep. You heard me right. It was illegal to ask the woman to cover herself in public.
A few years ago when the Rest of Us weren’t looking, the ‘lactivists’ all got together and rammed-home some legislation across the country – it’s now illegal in all fifty states to ask a woman to find some place private – or even to use a blanket – to breastfeed.
They’ve managed – and I don’t quite see how – to convince fifty state legislatures to pass laws allowing sucky-sucky in public – as long as it’s baby doin’ the deed, and not a lil’ somethin’-somethin’ goin’ on.
Now, I don’t follow.
As Maher pointed out, why not allow masturbation in public?
For that matter, why stop there? Why not allow public urination? Save a lot of money building public bathrooms – why not public troughs, like they had in Roman times? Take a dump in public, too – it ought to be legal now, but no – the same state which first brought you “no shirt/no shoes/no service” (Oregon) now allows bare-breasticles anywhere – as long as they’re being ‘used’ by a person under the age of, say 18 months.
I still can’t walk barefoot in a restaurant, though.
Not that I’d want to – you see, I’m civilized….